Chris Cola-Hell-No: Blue Jay Suspended 80 Games

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Toronto Blue Jays first basemen Chris Colabello was suspended 80 games without pay on Friday after testing positive for *deep breath* dehydrochlormethyltestosterone. The drug might sound familiar as it was the popular choice of East German Olympians from the 60s to the 90s.

Colabello is the 2nd player suspended for dehydrochlormethyltestosterone this season. Phillies’ pitcher Daniel Stumpf received an 80-game ban on April 14th for using the drug.

To no one’s surprise, Colabello released a statement claiming he doesn’t know how the drugs got in his system.

After a breakout 2015 campaign in which he hit .321/.367/.520 with 15 home runs in a part-time role, Colabello has had a very disappointing 2016. Before the suspension, Colablello had just 2 hits in 29 at-bats, good for a .069 average.

Earlier this year, we named Colabello as the key hitter to watch for Toronto this season. If the Jays make the postseason, Colabello will be ineligible. His appeal has already been heard.

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One thought on “Chris Cola-Hell-No: Blue Jay Suspended 80 Games

  1. I am over the comment, “I don’t know how…”. Come on guys! How does a person not know what goes into your body?? If you seriously don’t know, then I am surprised at your stupidity. I am much more impressed by honesty.

    Like

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